The Biggest Issue with Abuse

To me the biggest issues with abuse is it's prevalence and how so many people underestimate what abuse really is. Abuse is so vastly widespread. We have talked about it throughout the semester, it's level of occurrence and all the forms it can take. I'm not going to go into those details because I think there's a bigger issue.

I think it is wildly under reported and even unrealized in many ways. I think a lot of women have the idea that they can't physically abuse men because they're generally smaller than men. I also think that transfers into women abusing other women and thinking they can get away with it and that it's not really abuse. I think that men sometimes have the idea that it's not abuse if they're hitting their male partners because men fight with men like that. To me, all of that is very clearly abuse.

The biggest issue of all of those situations is the little things that happen in relationships that people say are not abuse. I think it's possible that there are heat of the moment, one time situations where people make an accident and hit their partner. Women can get upset and slap their partners or men may push their partners. A lot of people would say that's not abuse but I'm unsure what to think of that. I don't think it's ever OK to hit someone especially someone you're in a relationship with. That said, I am a boxer and love organized fighting and I also know there are times to protect oneself but lashing out is unacceptable to me.

I'm not trying to rant in this post about the most troubling aspect of domestic violence but this is a very serious issue to me and I think it is widely overlooked. I hope that this post gave you something to think about and I'm going to end it with a song, one of my favorites. This video is of the song by FUN. (2011) and titled "We Are Young." The reason I bring this song to end my post and blog is because in the fifth line, you can see this in the lyrics (2011) below, the singer mentions a scar that he gave his lover and continues to talk about how there are holes in his apologies and he's trying to take it back. This incident may have had nothing to do with abuse but the song certainly isn't telling the story. During this semester I listened to this song a lot and as I learned more in this class it really made me think about this issue. Where is the thin line that defines abuse?

We Are Young

(feat. Janelle Monáe)

Give me a second I,
I need to get my story straight
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
My lover she’s waiting for me just across the bar
My seat’s been taken by some sunglasses asking bout a scar, and
I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you’re trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies, you know
I’m trying hard to take it back
So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Now I know that I’m not
All that you got
I guess that I, I just thought
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let’s raise a toast
‘Cause I found someone to carry me home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Just carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Just carry me home tonight (Nananananana)

The world is on my side
I have no reason to run
So will someone come and carry me home tonight
The angels never arrived
But I can hear the choir
So will someone come and carry me home

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Tonight
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home tonight